Dear Client. Manual intended for clients of sex workers

This guide was created for you, a client of sex workers. It was produced under the direction of Stella, by a group of people working in the sex industry. Stella is a community organization dedicated to improving sex workers’ lives and working conditions. At Stella, we see sex work as work. For us, sex work consists of offering sexual services in exchange for money or for well-being, an exchange defined and negotiated between a sex worker and her client.

This guide is addressed to you, a regular client or one that is preparing for your first visit with a sex worker. In this guide you will find advice that will help you to benefit from our experience as sex professionals. Essentially, the content of this guide is taken from our professional experience and is based on the realities of our work. We wanted to respond to your questions to demystify our work so that you can have a better understanding of our limits and who we are.

We have included information on the types of services offered by sex workers. This information can help you identify precisely what type of sexual service you desire. By knowing what you want, it will be easier for you to express your needs and to negotiate an agreement with a sex worker. In this guide you will also find advice and practical tips on appropriate behaviour with a sex worker. We ask you to be respectful and that you respect the rules of the game and the agreement that you make. We ask you to respect our limits and we demand you not to be violent with us. We insist that you respect the dignity of all sex workers.

Finally, we have included information on STIs, sexually transmitted infections. We hope that this information will help you to understand the importance of protecting yourself against infections. Your sexual health, as well as ours, is important in our eyes because we believe that when we’re healthy, we can fully enjoy our sensual and sexual experiences. To help you protect yourself and all of your sexual partners, you will find some tips on how best to use a condom and how to enjoy yourself with sex toys, safely.

The content of this guide is for you, dear male client, whose contact will be with female, transvestite or transexual sex workers. If you are a client of male sex workers or if you are a female, transvestite or transexual client, you will also find some of this information important and useful.

The advice in this guide does not attempt to influence you to commit illegal acts or to do things that could harm your health or that of another. We simply hope that reading this guide will help you to have pleasant, sexy, respectful, and safe experiences with a sex worker.

Signed: Stella  

1. Answers to your Questions
2. Services
3. What You Need to Know
3.1 When you visit a sex worker
3.2 In a Strip Club
3.3 On the Street
4. Respect and No Violence!
5. Your Sexual Health
5.1 STIs
5.2 HIV/AIDS
5.3 The Human Papilloma Virus (HPV)
5.4 Hepatitis
5.5 Bacterial Infections
5.6 Syphilis
5.7 Gonorrhea and Chlamydia
6. Condom use
6.1 To use a condom correctly
7. Play Safe

ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
Our clients frequently ask questions: they want to understand our work and to know who we are. These questions often illustrate how sex work is greatly misunderstood. At other times the questions point to stereotypical references and false conceptions about sex workers. Perhaps you have asked similar questions yourself.

You must, first and foremost, know that for us sex work is work. Like any other type of work it is a job that provides an income. It is also work done by people of all different ages, races, cultures, and personalities. We are also diversified in the type of sex work that we do. Each sex worker is, therefore, different in her style and her way of working.

To respond to your questions we have provided the most commonly asked questions along with our answers:

1.  What do sex workers accept to do and what are their limits, what do they refuse to do?
No two sex workers are alike. The sex industry is made up of individuals. Each sex worker establishes her own rules and limits and each will accept to do some things while others refuse. As a client, you need to ask clearly in advance what type of services you would like to receive. Afterwards, the sex worker you are doing business with will tell you what she accepts to do to meet your needs. She will also clearly tell you what her limits are by the things she refuses to do. A sex worker’s limits are non-negotiable-you must respect them. If the sex worker you are making contact with has limits about the services you would like 1) you must accept to receive the services she is willing to offer, respect her limits and don’t insist or 2) make contact with another sex worker.

2. Is it possible to have a service without a condom?
We are always very surprised by this request. A lot of clients seem to forget that it is in their own interest to use a condom, to protect themselves and to protect their partners against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). STIs are widespread and it is impossible to know if a person is infected by simply looking at him/her. Using a condom is a part of our work. They protect us and protect you as well. We insist on their use—it is non-negotiable. It is also in your best interest.

3. Do sex workers have HIV/AIDS and STIs (sexually transmitted infections)?
Our bodies are our principal working tool and we try to take the best care of them. Similar to other sexually active peeople who have more than one partner, we care about practising safe sex to protect ourselves and our partners. Its important to know that unprotected sex puts people at risk of being infected. However, there is little risk of contracting an STI or HIV/AIDS while using a condom during sexual relations. Whether or not we exchange money during sexual relations has no effect on this. We are safe sex professionals. If you don’t know how to use a condom correctly, ask one of us and we will show you how. It would be our pleasure.

4. What happens if I happen to see a sex worker that I know outside of her working hours?
What will happen depends on you and the sex worker in question. If you are concerned about this, speak with her in advance. In general, if she doesn’t approach you it is preferable to be discrete and ignore her. Some prefer that you don’t approach them at all outside of their working hours.

5. Do sex workers tells their friends, family and partners that they sex work?
Some of us talk openly about our work while others choose to talk about it with only a few people. Others don’t talk about it at all. The discrimination and prejudices that society has with regards to our work can influence our decision whether or not to talk about it. Each sex worker will decide whether or not to divulge depending on her needs and the context within which she evolves.

6. Do sex workers have partners, lovers, or friends?
Contrary to popular myths, we have personal lives outside of our professional lives. Our personal choices can be very diverse. Some of us don’t have partners, others of us have many, and others of us have none. Some of us are single, others of us are married. Similar to the rest of society, there are those amongst us who are heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. Sex workers can be single or married, have boyfriends or girlfriends, etc.

7. Do sex workers hate men?
Our work involves contact with many men. Some of them are respectful while others are less so. An ideal client is one who is respectful. Our feelings about men are influenced by our work and our lives. We don’t hate men, though sometimes we may hate their attitudes and behaviours.

8. Are sex workers nymphomaniacs, do they have a dependency on sex?
Nymphomania is a word that is used to describe a dependency on sex or an exaggeration of the sexual needs of a person. People often mistake sex workers as sex « addicts » or constantly « horny » because a part of our work involves sex with different men on a regular basis. It is true that our work requires us to be comfortable with diverse aspects of sexuality. But that does not mean that we are addicted to sex.

9. Do sex workers have a history of sexual abuse?
Some sex workers have been sexually abused. Other women who are not in the sex industry have been sexually abused as well. Sexual abuse is not specific to sex workers. It is a problem that can affect all women.

10. Do sex workers use drugs ?
There are some sex workers who use alcohol or drugs recreationally or occasionally. Others never use either while others use regularly. Drug and alcohol consumption is not specific to sex work.

11. Do sex workers have pimps ?
The stereotypical image of a pimp is that of a man who controls the work and money of a women who is sex working. The reality is that a lot of sex workers work independently. Others choose to associate with fellow sex workers to share resources, for example when working in the same location. Other sex workers prefer to work with other people, for example there are those who choose to work for escort agencies or massage parlours with male or female bosses. Finally, certain sex workers associate with partners to ensure safety and protection in times of need. The stereotypical image of a pimp does not correspond with the realities of our work.

12. Why do sex workers do sex work?
Sex work is work: an activity that generates income. Sex workers work first and foremost for money.

SERVICES
Here is a list of services most commonly offered by sex workers. This information can help you identify precisely what types of sexual services you desire. By knowing what you want, it will be easier for you to express your needs and negotiate an agreement with a sex worker. Don’t forget: not all sex workers offer ALL of these services. Take the time to look around for someone who can offer you the services you would like.

Contact Dance, $10 Dance
Usually in a dance bar. An erotic dance in private where the client is allowed to touch the sex worker’s breasts and the butt.

Cunnilingus, DATY), dining at the (Y)
Exciting the woman’s vulva with your tongue and mouth; eating.

Domination
The sex worker humiliates, ties up, whips, and inflicts pain on a client with the goal of exciting him sexually.

Double
Two sex workers offer services to one or two clients at the same time.

Erotic conversation, dirty talk
Sex talk with the sex worker in person, on the telephone, or on the Internet.

Erotic dance, striptease
Sexual dance. This type of dance becomes a striptease when the sex worker undresses while dancing. The level of contact with a client can vary and this is to be negotiated in advance.

Erotic couple
Two sex workers who perform sexual acts between them.

Facial
Ejaculation in the sex worker’s face.

Fantasy Mental image or sexual scenario that has the power to sexually excite.

Fetish
Éjaculation sur le visage de la travailleuse du sexe.

Fantasme
Object or a part of the body that is not genital, that has the power to excite sexually, for example: the feet, leather, wearing clothing of the opposite sex, etc.

Fingering, fisting
Using your fingers to caress and penetrate the vagina or the anus. We call it “fisting” when your entire hand or several fingers are used for penetration.

From behind, doggy-style
This means vaginal or anal penetration from behind. The person who is being penetrated puts their back to her/his partner and is usually on her/his hands and knees.

Full service
Vaginal penetration.

Golden shower
Urinating on someone.

In-call
The sex worker will receive you at her house, a place managed by an escort agency, or a massage parlour.

Massage with options
It begins with a full body massage. The options range from massage with nudity to sexual services. These options will vary depending on the rules of the establishment, the house and the sex worker.

Masturbation, jerking off, hand job
Exciting the penis or the clitoris with the hand, other parts of the body, a vibrator or a dildo.

Oral sex, fellatio, blow-job
Exciting the penis with the mouth. Sucking.

Out-call
The sex worker will join you at your home, or a hotel, or accompany you on an outing.

Peep show, erotic show
This is a dance with masturbation with or without erotic toys (vibrators and dildos).

Role playing
Exciting scenario where the sex worker and the client play roles in relation to one another. For example, the professor and the student, or the baby in diapers with his mother.

Scatology
This is an erotic game with feces.

Submission
The client is sexually excited by humiliating, tying up, whipping and inflicting pain on the sex worker.

Threesome
This is typically a couple that wants a sexual experience with the sex worker.

Tit-fucking
Masturbation of the penis between the breasts of the sex worker. It often finishes with a “pearl necklace”: sperm on the neck.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

When you visit a sex worker
Be polite and respectful.

For an enjoyable and relaxing experience, communicate your needs, what you prefer, and what you don’t like. Sex workers cannot read your mind.

Take a shower and ensure you soap and rinse your pleasure zones very well: penis, scrotum (balls), anus. If you are not circumcised, pull the foreskin of the penis back gently and wash it well. If a sex worker comes to see you, it would be nice to have a clean towel and soap ready for her as well.

Don’t consume a lot of alcohol or drugs. These substances can diminish your capacity to have an erection, which can be frustrating for both you and the sex worker. Alcohol and drugs can also affect your judgement and cause you to be aggressive. We do not accept aggressive behaviour.

Be clear about what services you would like and the amount of money that you are ready to spend.

Pay in advance and ensure that we don’t have to ask. Be discreet, for both your security and ours. Don’t forget that prices are non-negotiable.

Respect the time limit that has been given to you. If you would like to prolong your visit, renegotiate the price.

Be ready to have condoms and water-based lube with you. In general, we will have our own supplies, but it is always good to have your own, just in case.

Don’t be shocked by condoms. They are used for your protection and ours. Condoms are necessary for oral sex as well as for vaginal and anal sex. Using a condom is non-negotiable.

Words and expressions like “hard/soft”, “rough/ gentle”, and “fast/slow” have different meanings for different people. Be clear about what these words mean to you.

If you would like an erotic conversation or dirty talk, or to use particular words during a service, speak with the sex worker beforehand. It is essential to respect a sex worker’s limits about her decision. Sex workers can be comfortable with some things, and not with others.

It is essential, during role-playing and domination, to have ‘safe words’, key words that indicate the limits that you or the sex worker may have. You must respect them as we will. Each word does not mean the same thing to everyone.

Remember that sex workers are people, like everyone else. Give us the same respect that you give to yourself and to others.

Be yourself. Client/Sex Worker relationships are built on TRUST. Don’t be worried if you don’t have experience. We are professionals and we are there to help you. Clearly express your desires and limits, and then we will know what you are comfortable with.

Assume absolutely nothing! About anything! It’s better to talk! Be comfortable: if you have any questions, ask them!

In a Strip Club
If you are visiting a strip club, be respectful to each dancer.

Ask the dancer how much it costs for a single dance, many dancers, or a period of time. Ask what is and what is not acceptable in terms of touching. Respect the limits of each dancer and the establishment.

Sexual acts like fellatio, penetration, and touching genitals are illegal in a strip club. In a private cabin, touching the breasts and buttocks of a dancer are legal.

If, however, you have an agreement with a dancer, respect her prices, the time given to you for the service, and her limits.

On the Street
Each sex worker has a preferred place to go. Let her bring you to her favourite spot where the service will take place.

Always pay in advance. Respect the fixed prices of the worker, and don’t try to bargain her down to a lower price. Do not discuss prices on the street.

On the street, the majority of sex workers charge by the service, not by the hour.

If the person you have approached on the street for a service does not respond or says “no”, do not insist. Walk away.

Respect the people that live in the neighbourhood. Do not ask for a service on private property, for example.

Don’t throw used condoms, their packaging, tissues or other pieces of garbage in the street. Put them into a trash bin at the corner of the street, at the gas station or elsewhere.

While in a car, leave the doors unlocked.

Get to know the sex worker’s name, and share your name as well. If someone bothers you, you could say that you are in the company of your new and charming friend!

RESPECT AND NO VIOLENCE!
We ask you to be respectful and that you respect the rules of the game and the understanding that you have with us. We ask that you respect our limits and we insist that you are not violent. We demand that you respect the dignity of all sex workers.

Unfortunately, some clients try to intimidate, manipulate, harass or harm us from time to time. These behaviours are unacceptable and disrespectful, and are considered violent acts. They ARE NOT a part of our work!

It is ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE to be disrespectful and violent with a sex worker. These behaviours are assaults: criminal infractions punishable by law.

You are guilty of an assault if you:
- Hit a sex worker;
- Use physical force to control or hurt, for example pushing down the head of a sex worker during fellatio;
- Force a sex worker to perform a sexual act that was not negotiated in advance as part of a service, a sexual act that she has not given consent to;
Force a sex worker to continue when she has asked you to stop;
- Touch a sex worker in a way that that she is uncomfortable with, when she asks you to stop and you still continue;
- Attempt to manipulate a sex worker with ideas, words, and the threat of fearful consequences;
- Threaten, speak loudly, break objects, attempt to intimidate, or frighten;
- Follow, attempt to follow, or harass a sex worker in person, by car, or by telephone;
- Talk degradingly or disrespectfully, or talk in a way that will hurt the integrity, identity or dignity of a person as a woman or a sex worker;
- Don’t respect the limits of a sex worker;
- Insult a sex worker as a negative reaction to the limits she sets;
- Take advantage of or abuse a sex worker in any way;
- Don’t pay a sex worker for a service;
- Steal the money of a sex worker.
If you assault a sex worker, you are no longer a client. You are an aggressor. You run the risk of being criminally accused and standing trial. You can also be charged if you assault a sex worker outside of her working hours. You can be sent to jail.

YOUR SEXUAL HEALTH
Men use their penises all the time without thinking about it. Few men, however, take the time to examine themselves attentively, to ensure that everything is okay!

Take the time to examine your penis, your testicles, your pubic area. Take note of their colour, shape and size. Do this regularly, once a month for example. This way, it will be easier for you to notice changes, such as lesions or warts, that may show up due to a sexually transmitted infection (for more information about these infections and their symptoms, consult the next section on STIs). Visit your doctor if you notice something unusual!

To check if you have abnormal discharge, make slow movements along your penis with your hand (while it is soft); pull and press slowly. It is possible that liquid may come out of your penis. Check its texture and colour. If there is any discolouration or it looks like puss, see a doctor.

STIs
STIs are sexually transmitted infections. STIs are transmitted through unprotected oral, vaginal or anal sex. Many STIs are easily transmitted through oral sex: namely, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis.

STIs are widespread and can affect anyone. In Québec, viral infections like HIV/AIDS are affecting more and more heterosexual people. Each year, thousands of people are newly infected by the human papilloma virus (HPV), herpes and hepatitis. Bacterial infections like syphilis and gonorrhea, that were once believed to have almost disappeared, have been on the rise over the past few years. In brief, you have no reason to believe you are shielded from them!

Everyone is at risk. The level of risk depends on a combination of factors: the number of partners you have, the sexual activities you practice, and the methods you use to minimize the risk of infection. Using condoms and gloves, and washing your sex toys in appropriate ways are the best ways to protect yourself from STIs (see the following sections).

Il existe deux catégories d’ITS : There are two categories of STIs: viral infections (caused by a virus) and bacterial infections (caused by a bacteria).

HIV/AIDS
Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) is characterized by a set of symptoms provoked by a virus which we call the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), that attacks the immune system (the body’s natural defense system).

HIV can be transmitted through blood, sperm, pre-ejaculatory fluid, vaginal secretions, and breast milk. These biological fluids need to be infected by HIV, then enter into contact with an opening on the skin where it can reach a non-infected person’s blood to make transmission possible.

The activities that put a person at risk for HIV are:
- vaginal or anal penetration without a condom;
- sharing dildos or sex toys without using condoms;
- sharing needles or injection materials (syringes, spoons, filters, etc);
- tattooing or body piercing equipment that is not sterilized.

HIV can be present in the body for years before it shows symptoms. These symptoms occur in various and general ways: fever, night sweats, major weight loss, persistent diarrhea, intense and inexplicable fatigue, cough, and skin rashes.

After HIV has reached the AIDS phase, the immune system becomes very weak and cannot defend itself from simple infections. These infections take advantage of the weakness of the immune system and settles in the body. This is why we call them opportunistic infections. These can be pneumonia, toxoplasmosis or an infection of the brain membrane or neurological problems. There are very strong medications that slow down the replication of the virus and delay the arrival of the AIDS phase. The result: a sero-positive person can live longer.

However, these medications are extremely costly and carry severe side effects. As well, taking these medications is very complicated. In reality, we are far away from any a ‘’miracle pill’’. These medications only slow down the progression of the disease.

NO TREATMENT CAN CURE HIV-AIDS.

If you have had any risky sexual activity, or if a condom has broken while you were engaging in sexual activity, consult a doctor and ask for an HIV test three to six months afterwards.

The test for HIV is taken through blood. The test will check for the presence of anti-HIV antibodies in the blood, and not for the presence of the virus itself. It takes up to three months, sometimes up to six months, for these antibodies to be found in a sufficient quantity to be detected through a blood test. The presence of HIV antibodies signifies that you are sero-positive, that you have HIV. If there are no HIV antibodies, you are sero-negative.

The Human Papilloma Virus (HPV)
HPV is a widespread viral infection. In Canada, we estimate that between 20 and 40% of the sexually active population carries HPV.

There are different types of HPV. The most frequent is WARTS—highly contagious genital warts that are transmitted through direct contact. For example, if there are warts present on the vulva or the inside of the vagina, the transmission to the penis is very likely if there is vaginal penetration.

Warts can also be transmitted by other body parts (fingers, mouth, etc.), or by sex toys that have been in contact with warts. Transmission can also take place through infected genital secretions (pre-ejactulatory liquid, sperm, vaginal secretions), even WITHOUT penetration.

The shape, size, and colour of warts can vary: they can resemble little cauliflowers, a rooster’s comb, small pimples, or flat lesions, with a head ranging from the size of a hairpin or a nut. They can be pink, red, or the same colour as the skin. Warts can be found at the head of the penis, the shaft of the penis, the testicles, on the inside or the outside of the vagina or anus, in the pubic area, or more rarely in the mouth and on the lips. They can cause an irritating sensation, itching or pain.

If you have symptoms similar to the ones listed here, it is essential that you see a doctor.

Herpes
There are two different types of herpes that affect the mouth and the lips (cold sores), the penis, the vagina, and the anus (genital herpes). Herpes creates lesions, small ulcers or sensitive wounds that are painful to the touch. The herpes virus is sexually transmitted through direct contact with a lesion through oral, vaginal, or anal sex. For example, during oral sex, a cold sore on the mouth can transmit the herpes virus to the penis. The reverse is also true: herpes on the penis can transmit to the lips of a person who is giving fellatio.

Herpes can also be transmitted if your fingers or hands have been in touch with a lesion and they then touch your partner’s genitals, anus, or mouth. Even if there are no lesions, the risk still exists, because the herpes virus remains in the body for life. There are medications to reduce the intensity and time duration of symptoms of herpes, but they do not eliminate the virus in the body.It is essential to see a doctor if you have any of the herpes symptoms mentioned above.

Hepatitis
Hepatitis is a disease of the liver. Symptoms include yellow-coloured eyes and skin, diarrhea and dark urine, stomachaches, appetite loss, and headaches.

The hepatitis A virus can be found in the feces and can be transmitted through sex that involves licking the anus, penis, or a toy that has been in contact with the anus.

Hepatitis B is transmitted through sperm and vaginal secretions. Sexual activities that are most likely to transmit Hepatitis B are the same as the ones that transmit HIV: vaginal or anal penetration without a condom and sharing dildos or sex toys. Hepatitis B is also transmitted through blood and saliva by sharing syringes, razors, toothbrushes, non-sterilized needles for tattooing and body piercing, etc.

Hepatitis C is transmitted through the blood. It is possible to be infected by the Hepatitis C virus through unprotected sex with an infected person, if there are small, even invisible, cuts on the skin or mucous membranes, herpes sores or another STI, or where there has been contact with blood (including menstrual blood).

Because many people infected with hepatitis do not suffer particular symptoms, it is possible to become infected or to infect someone without knowing. It is recommended that you take a test for each type of hepatitis at least once. Ask your doctor. Hepatitis is tested for through a blood test. There are vaccinations for Hepatitis A and B.

Bacterial Infections (caused by a bacteria)

Syphilis
After the discovery of penicillin in 1943, syphilis had nearly disappeared. Unfortunately, over the past years, in Montréal as in all major North American cities, syphilis has been on the rise.

This infection is transmitted through oral, vaginal and anal sex. Transmission of syphilis through oral sex is much more common than with HIV. Syphilis has various symptoms throughout its stages of development. These symptoms can easily go unnoticed. In the first stage, syphilis causes a painless ulcer that, for men, can be found on the head of the penis, but also can be found on the penis, the base of the penis, or the pubic area. Indeed, it can be found anywhere on the body of a man or a woman: anus, rectum, lips, vulva, vagina, tongue, tonsils or throat. The symptoms go away on their own after a few weeks, even without treatment, but the infection continues to progress and the individual is still contagious. Undiagnosed and untreated, syphilis continues to evolve and can create severe complications that can result in infertility, dementia, and cardiac problems. Only a blood test can determine the presence of syphilis. Speak with your doctor. Syphilis is easily treated with antibiotics.

Gonorrhea and Chlamydia
These STIs have the same method of transmission and present the same symptoms. Gonorrhea and chlamydia can be transmitted through oral sex or during vaginal and anal penetration. Gonorrhea is frequently transmitted through oral sex. Chlamydia often does not have symptoms in 70% of infected people (7 out of 10 infected people). Gonorrhea shows more symptoms in people (9 out of 10 infected people), but often it does not show symptoms if it is in the throat or the anus. When they do appear, the major symptoms are:
- green or yellowish discharge from the penis, usually accompanied by pain;
- burning sensation while urinating;
- pain around the testicles or swelling of the testicles.

If the infection is located in the throat or the anus (rectum) and there are symptoms (though this is rare), they will be: a pins and needles sensation, discharge, pus, pain or spots of blood. Because a lot of people don’t show symptoms and do not know that they are infected, it is recommended that you take regular tests for gonorrhea and chlamydia. To take a test, consult your doctor. Do not forget to ask for a test in your throat and anus. These tests (specifically the tests in the urethra, the path from which both men urinate and ejaculate, and in anus test) can be unpleasant and uncomfortable. Left untreated, these infections can cause a lot of complications and infertility. Once discovered, they are easily treatable with antibiotics.

CONDOM USE
You have just read in the previous section that there are many types of STIs that are widespread and can be easily transmitted through unprotected oral, vaginal and anal sex. It is in your best interest to protect yourself! To do this, using a condom is essential.

In theory, putting a condom on is simple. In practise, however it can be different. The packaging of the condom does not always open easily, you may unroll the condom on the wrong side, etc.

To get familiar with condoms, the best way is to use a condom a few times during masturbation. The idea is not to always masturbate with a condom, but to do this a few times to give yourself a chance to get comfortable with a little bit of latex!

To use a condom correctly 
1) Check the expiry date on the package of the condom. If the expiry date has passed, throw it out!
2) Check to see if there is air in the condom package. If there is no aire, there is a good chance that the condom is damaged. Throw it out and take another one.
Open the package with care, from the the middle. Do not use your teeth or scissors to open it.
3) Take the condom by the tip (closed tip). Ensure that it is on the right side: the edge to unroll needs to be on the outside.
4) You can put one or two drops of lubricant on the inside of the condom, that will make it more comfortable and increase your sensation.
5) Pinch the closed tip of the condom to let out any air before unrolling the condom on the penis. This step is very important and often neglected. If you don’t do this it can often cause a break in the condom. If there is air that stays in the tip of the condom, the condom can burst.
6) I f you are not circumcised, pull back the skin that covers the head of the penis until the penis head is well exposed. Put the condom on the head of the penis, while still pinching the tip of the condom, and slowly unroll the condom to the base of the penis. 
7) Put the condom on the head of the penis, while still pinching the tip of the condom, and slowly unroll the condom to the base of the penis.
8) If you think you have done it wrong, take the condom off and start with a fresh and new one.
9) Use water-based lubricant on the outside of the condom for vaginal and anal penetration. This will cause the friction and reduce the risk of the condom breaking. And it feels really good!
10) After having ejaculated, pull out immediately (slowly). Take the condom from the base of the penis (the round side) while pulling out to ensure that it doesn’t fall off in your partner’s vagina or anus. And pay attention so that nothing spills out while you are taking it off !

Use a condom by choice: using a condom will allow you to explore your sexuality without worry and totally let yourself go.

Do not keep condoms in your pockets, your wallet or other places where there is risk of movement or heat exposure that may result in damage

Pay attention to rings, nails, and body piercings while you handle a condom!

Never use a defective condom!

Never use a condom twice!

Do not use one condom on the top of the other. This can cause friction and increase the risk of breakage.

Non-lubricated condoms and flavoured fruit or mint condoms are ideal for oral sex.

If you use non-lubricated condoms for penetration, put a water-based lubricant on the outside.

You can find water-based lubricants very easily at your favourite sex shop! Get informed!

It is important that you use a water-based lubricant.

Do not use fruit or mint-flavoured condoms for vaginal or anal sex; the flavouring they contain may cause irritation in your partner.

Oil-based lubricants can seriously damage condoms and should not be used. Also, YOU MUST NOT use the following oil-based products as lubricants: Vaseline, topical creams, kitchen oil, massage oils, and hand creams.

PLAY SAFE
We always use condoms when we play with sex toys (dildos, vibrators, etc.) and we invite you to do the same!

2 If you use different toys, you must use a different condom on each one.

If you change orifices (mouth, vagina, anus) with the toy, also change the condom.

If you are thinking of giving a sex toy to one of us as a gift, ask us in advance what we would like to receive. Preferences in sex toys vary.

If you are using sex toys on a sex worker, according to an agreement that you have made with one of us in advance, respect her choice of toys, her rhythm and her limits.

6 If you want to use toys for anal sex, ensure that you choose your toys well. Some toys require time to adjust. If you don’t have previous experience with a toy, take the time to experiment by yourself, if possible. Start by choosing the smallest toy. And put a condom on your toys as well!

Toys need to be cleaned before and after each use. Go to your favourite sex shop to ask for information on the best way to clean your toys. Each toy is not made of the same material and there are different ways to take care of different toys. Avoid strong detergents. You can clean most sex toys with mild soap and a wet cloth. Sex toys made of glass can be rinsed with rubbing alcohol. Silicone toys can be cleaned in the dishwasher, placed on the top rack.

Be careful: cleaning your toys is really important but does not guarantee that they are disinfected. It is always as important to use a condom on your toys.

For anal penetration with fingers (fingering) or with a hand (fisting), we use latex gloves. While using gloves, it is important that nails are trimmed so that the gloves don’t tear. Sex workers also appreciate using latex gloves for vaginal penetration with fingers.

If you are allergic to latex there are hypo-allergenic condoms made from polyurethane that offer the same protection against STIs as latex condoms. They are produced by Durex and are called Avanti. You can find them at most pharmacies. The same applies for gloves: made with Nitrile, they will not cause an allergic reaction. Ensure that the gloves you use do not have too much powder: this can cause friction and irritation.

Always use a lot of water-based lubricant on condoms and gloves !

There we go! You’ve already reached the end! We hope, dear client, that this little guide and the information it contains has answered your questions. And we hope, more importantly, that this will help you to make choices for a healthy sex life!

Its been a pleasure!

The content, illustrations, and general production of this guide are the results of the efforts of a number of people. We thank each and every one of them.

A part of this content and sections on sexual health, STIs and condom use came from and are inspired by "Mon livre de lit", pour une sexualité plaisir en santé, vol.1 a document produced by Action Séro-Zéro, 2004. Thanks to Action Séro-Zéro

At Stella, we work to create links to build solidarity between people from diverse communities of people who sex work. For this reason, we have produced this document in English and French.

The production of this document was made possible by the contribution of Health Canada. The contents of this document and the opinions expressed in it do not necessarily represent the official policy of Health Canada.

Original version is available at Stella.